At the end of the year, I write new years resolutions, because that is what people do. Many of these I have written are task to do that I have yet to accomplish. More often than not, simplification of our life, by finishing tasks is our way of coping with the added responsibility as we become older. The line between a resolution versus a laundry list of things we need to catch up on often blurs; as both are equally important in the deconstruction of our overstress holiday pathology.
So, as years come to pass, I made up things to fill the "stockings". There are many books out there that write about how to make new years resolution. Its not much different than goal oriented books, nor is it much different than how to be successful books. It has to be measurable, it has to be incremental (you cant go from zero to hero), and it has to be specific as to how the task will be accomplish within your daily work or school schedule.
Yet, I ponder what is so significant of this year that just passed. The year before I rode across the country, the year before that I finish my novel, the year before that I became a counselor. All different significance of my life, each has its own merits. What happened this past year? I rode and took minor trips, I change location for my job, I built a new bike. But I'm not sure if those are my really my resolutions from last year. Perhaps a more important truth is, I'm not sure if accomplishing those task net the feeling that I had a fulfilling year.
The beginning of last year I was still working at RMS. I have yet to make a decision to move from that berth. The truth is, I had my kids for 2 years and they are coming up to their 8th grade year. I have good relationship with many parents, and to top it off, I'm coming off my third year of my evaluation where now I am officially tenured. I love my job, and I love all the kids I worked with, and this was about to be the easiest year for me.
When you have been in a place for a while, and you have the benefit of understanding your peers and their quirks. You go to work, you do your job, you leave on the dot (because you are faster at getting your work done, and you know what is needed.) People depend on you, people rely on you, you come to enjoy the company of those who you are with, they come to rely on you emotionally and you on them. Amidst all the positive and comfort, as I ended my third year at the same school, I have come to term with a list of things that I like and dislike, and one invariable truth. The students we failed are our boys.
While I do not have anything against special interest groups, I find the basis of special interest prejudicial. It is not about equity, but "equality" for that group. Yet their brand of "equality" is really inversion. Most middle schools have 80% female professional staff and 20% male staff. While feminist activist will claim that higher level position in education are mostly operated by male, which is not false, and I will support that these claims are true and diversification needs to be considered. But... what about teacher ratio? are they going to turn around and advocate for equality for men in the school level? What about elementary school? which is almost exclusively female, are they going to advocate or at least acknowledge the lack of male role models in most elementary and middle school education? The answer is no. They will not. But they SHOULD. Because its about balance not a power struggle (but it is just a power struggle). So if we are going to practice what we preach, shouldn't we do it on all levels? In a school with 50% male and 50% female students shouldn't we be concern that all the counselor and admin are women? The answer is WE SHOULD. But we don't, WHY?
If we work with students that are doing poorly academically that all have similar background. Single parenting, on FARMS, and most happen to be African American and Hispanics with a sprinkling of other ethnicity, what do we focus on? Here is the kicker, most of them are boys, 80% to 90% are boys. What will people focus on? that they are AA or H. If the scenario was changed, and most of them are girls, there will be many advocates for the inequality. Where are these equal rights activist when its about boys and not girls? They are both our children of the future. Where are they? They are bystanders. WHY? because there is no benefit, money, or political support if the group is not an already socially accepted victim.
(this is the same truth for having 30% African American teachers in a school that has only 10% African Americans and 20% Hispanics and 5% Hispanic teachers. How is this equitable when we have just as many students of need that is Hispanic as many if not more than the African Americans? There is no large group support or push to have Hispanic teachers as we have with the African American special interest group. The special interest group will only keep promoting a propaganda until the % is overwhelmingly a racism problem or sexism problem the other way around -- but not to make the discussion convoluted, I'll just keep it on one topic)
Hence, while I support the theory behind special interest groups, I find the practice no less prejudice than the prejudice they are attempting to correct. The mountains of hypocrisy and power struggle only results in another group being shunted or forgotten. Our kids are the ones to suffer. Nothing says "the sins of our fathers" better than this social phenomenon.
At the end of my third year, I left RMS. I got a job closer to home, and basically nullify my commute, which is a giant bonus. But I miss my kids. The ones that really needed me to be their big brother they never had, and the ones who continue to miss me as I miss them. I worry about them regularly, wondering if my replacement was watching out for them as I did. Logic reasoning is that I should stay at RMS, its comfortable, its familiar, I love my counseling department and I really miss seeing my counseling registrar everyday.
I left two weeks into July. It wasn't a hard decisions nor was it an easy one. I got promoted, but it was always something I considered with much trepidation. It is in many ways, something I was not ready for and something I did not want. Politically correct people will jump on what I just said, and claim that I "was not suited cause I violated my 5th amendment, and claim I already didn't want the job". The truth is the opposite, those who fear leadership understand the gravity of responsibility, and their responsibility to those who they serve and oversee. Those who simply want leadership, title, and forced respect are always the worst type of leaders. While I do not claim to be any kind of leader, since that is for my co-workers to judge, I do feel a lot more pressure to care for my fellow co-workers. It is something I will always not want and always be vigilant of the pressure it has over me.
I will say this again and again, 'political correctness' is the new age racism/elitism/religion. It shuns those who does not think alike, who are not the same, or simply not 'progressive' or part of their special interest group.
I have been at my new school for 6 month now. WOMS is a very different demographics than RMS. There is only one bus and only handful of girls sporting their Uggs. I never grew up in a household where I got anything I wanted, but there is definite consideration that I never experience what these students gone through. Will I be able to connect with my students? After 6th month here I must say, I have connected more deeply with more students here than I have at RMS for two years. (There are students at RMS that I really connected, but they are much less in number than the number of students I have at WOMS)
WHY? Its rather simple actually. I teach chess on Tuesdays with Mr. V, but the difference is that the kids follow direction. No one is argumentative, I have no parents emailing me about who or what special needs their kids have to have. Everyone followed directions and as a result everyone improve dramatically more so than the chess group at RMS ever did. I'm already teaching kids about openings and rook odd games. I teach martial arts on Thursday with Mr. James. You must be thinking? Martial Arts? in School? Yes, I love this school. We have 16 to 18 strong in our group. We have turn boys who are silly into respectful young men. We teach kids discipline that they are able to transfer to their classwork. I arm wrestle a student who needed to test their manhood against a grown man. Yes we talked a lot of smack to each other, it was hilarious. Oh my god, you must be thinking... or at least some of you may think. Yet this kid comes to me for everything he needs help on. What is the difference? Kids freely jokes around with me, without fearing that they may say something 'not politically correct' and that I may reprimand them. The difference, is that in this environment my soul is restored, there is no political correctness to stand in between building real connections with other human beings.
So did I have a good year? I must say, that this year, was just as significant as the years pass. I took risks, and I was rewarded for my action. So do I have a new year resolution? Yes, there is only one.
#1 - Fear nothing, keep taking risks, because any less is not living
*** I got a few cards from people people from my old school. It was very heart warming. I have met some of the best people in my years are RMS. The one that made my year was that one of my student from RMS sent me a card on their own. I almost cried.
.
So, as years come to pass, I made up things to fill the "stockings". There are many books out there that write about how to make new years resolution. Its not much different than goal oriented books, nor is it much different than how to be successful books. It has to be measurable, it has to be incremental (you cant go from zero to hero), and it has to be specific as to how the task will be accomplish within your daily work or school schedule.
Yet, I ponder what is so significant of this year that just passed. The year before I rode across the country, the year before that I finish my novel, the year before that I became a counselor. All different significance of my life, each has its own merits. What happened this past year? I rode and took minor trips, I change location for my job, I built a new bike. But I'm not sure if those are my really my resolutions from last year. Perhaps a more important truth is, I'm not sure if accomplishing those task net the feeling that I had a fulfilling year.
The beginning of last year I was still working at RMS. I have yet to make a decision to move from that berth. The truth is, I had my kids for 2 years and they are coming up to their 8th grade year. I have good relationship with many parents, and to top it off, I'm coming off my third year of my evaluation where now I am officially tenured. I love my job, and I love all the kids I worked with, and this was about to be the easiest year for me.
When you have been in a place for a while, and you have the benefit of understanding your peers and their quirks. You go to work, you do your job, you leave on the dot (because you are faster at getting your work done, and you know what is needed.) People depend on you, people rely on you, you come to enjoy the company of those who you are with, they come to rely on you emotionally and you on them. Amidst all the positive and comfort, as I ended my third year at the same school, I have come to term with a list of things that I like and dislike, and one invariable truth. The students we failed are our boys.
While I do not have anything against special interest groups, I find the basis of special interest prejudicial. It is not about equity, but "equality" for that group. Yet their brand of "equality" is really inversion. Most middle schools have 80% female professional staff and 20% male staff. While feminist activist will claim that higher level position in education are mostly operated by male, which is not false, and I will support that these claims are true and diversification needs to be considered. But... what about teacher ratio? are they going to turn around and advocate for equality for men in the school level? What about elementary school? which is almost exclusively female, are they going to advocate or at least acknowledge the lack of male role models in most elementary and middle school education? The answer is no. They will not. But they SHOULD. Because its about balance not a power struggle (but it is just a power struggle). So if we are going to practice what we preach, shouldn't we do it on all levels? In a school with 50% male and 50% female students shouldn't we be concern that all the counselor and admin are women? The answer is WE SHOULD. But we don't, WHY?
If we work with students that are doing poorly academically that all have similar background. Single parenting, on FARMS, and most happen to be African American and Hispanics with a sprinkling of other ethnicity, what do we focus on? Here is the kicker, most of them are boys, 80% to 90% are boys. What will people focus on? that they are AA or H. If the scenario was changed, and most of them are girls, there will be many advocates for the inequality. Where are these equal rights activist when its about boys and not girls? They are both our children of the future. Where are they? They are bystanders. WHY? because there is no benefit, money, or political support if the group is not an already socially accepted victim.
(this is the same truth for having 30% African American teachers in a school that has only 10% African Americans and 20% Hispanics and 5% Hispanic teachers. How is this equitable when we have just as many students of need that is Hispanic as many if not more than the African Americans? There is no large group support or push to have Hispanic teachers as we have with the African American special interest group. The special interest group will only keep promoting a propaganda until the % is overwhelmingly a racism problem or sexism problem the other way around -- but not to make the discussion convoluted, I'll just keep it on one topic)
Hence, while I support the theory behind special interest groups, I find the practice no less prejudice than the prejudice they are attempting to correct. The mountains of hypocrisy and power struggle only results in another group being shunted or forgotten. Our kids are the ones to suffer. Nothing says "the sins of our fathers" better than this social phenomenon.
At the end of my third year, I left RMS. I got a job closer to home, and basically nullify my commute, which is a giant bonus. But I miss my kids. The ones that really needed me to be their big brother they never had, and the ones who continue to miss me as I miss them. I worry about them regularly, wondering if my replacement was watching out for them as I did. Logic reasoning is that I should stay at RMS, its comfortable, its familiar, I love my counseling department and I really miss seeing my counseling registrar everyday.
I left two weeks into July. It wasn't a hard decisions nor was it an easy one. I got promoted, but it was always something I considered with much trepidation. It is in many ways, something I was not ready for and something I did not want. Politically correct people will jump on what I just said, and claim that I "was not suited cause I violated my 5th amendment, and claim I already didn't want the job". The truth is the opposite, those who fear leadership understand the gravity of responsibility, and their responsibility to those who they serve and oversee. Those who simply want leadership, title, and forced respect are always the worst type of leaders. While I do not claim to be any kind of leader, since that is for my co-workers to judge, I do feel a lot more pressure to care for my fellow co-workers. It is something I will always not want and always be vigilant of the pressure it has over me.
I will say this again and again, 'political correctness' is the new age racism/elitism/religion. It shuns those who does not think alike, who are not the same, or simply not 'progressive' or part of their special interest group.
I have been at my new school for 6 month now. WOMS is a very different demographics than RMS. There is only one bus and only handful of girls sporting their Uggs. I never grew up in a household where I got anything I wanted, but there is definite consideration that I never experience what these students gone through. Will I be able to connect with my students? After 6th month here I must say, I have connected more deeply with more students here than I have at RMS for two years. (There are students at RMS that I really connected, but they are much less in number than the number of students I have at WOMS)
WHY? Its rather simple actually. I teach chess on Tuesdays with Mr. V, but the difference is that the kids follow direction. No one is argumentative, I have no parents emailing me about who or what special needs their kids have to have. Everyone followed directions and as a result everyone improve dramatically more so than the chess group at RMS ever did. I'm already teaching kids about openings and rook odd games. I teach martial arts on Thursday with Mr. James. You must be thinking? Martial Arts? in School? Yes, I love this school. We have 16 to 18 strong in our group. We have turn boys who are silly into respectful young men. We teach kids discipline that they are able to transfer to their classwork. I arm wrestle a student who needed to test their manhood against a grown man. Yes we talked a lot of smack to each other, it was hilarious. Oh my god, you must be thinking... or at least some of you may think. Yet this kid comes to me for everything he needs help on. What is the difference? Kids freely jokes around with me, without fearing that they may say something 'not politically correct' and that I may reprimand them. The difference, is that in this environment my soul is restored, there is no political correctness to stand in between building real connections with other human beings.
So did I have a good year? I must say, that this year, was just as significant as the years pass. I took risks, and I was rewarded for my action. So do I have a new year resolution? Yes, there is only one.
#1 - Fear nothing, keep taking risks, because any less is not living
*** I got a few cards from people people from my old school. It was very heart warming. I have met some of the best people in my years are RMS. The one that made my year was that one of my student from RMS sent me a card on their own. I almost cried.
.